|Its been awhile
||[Sep. 14th, 2016|09:25 pm]
It really has been awhile since ive been on here. Suddenly got reminded of this space while reading a certain celebrity's blog. Thought maybe writing out (or rather typing out) everything im going through right now may help somehow. Well, here goes. |
One major thing playing on my mind as of late is how im coming to the last year of my time in the UK. It's quite difficult to actually come to terms with the fact that it's all going to be over soon. How 3 years ago, this time, i was frantically panacking yet secretly pretty excited for this whole adventure that was ahead of me. And now, it's coming to a close. I would like to think that thes years abroad have changed me as a person, but then there are times where i hold back on that statement just because there hasnt been a change significant enough that i have seen with my own eyes. Many of my seniors say that year 2 is the toughest year i will have to face during my time in law school. No doubt, it was challenging and i have to agree. Really must admit how proud i am of myself for making it through this year tho. Not to mention how i didnt just barely scrape through but i actually did well, by my standards at least. And for that, i really think it made this academic year that much more fulfilling. For once, i actually feel like i did my parents proud. But of course, getting cocky and too proud at this point isnt going to be of much help. Its what i finally graduate with that counts. Just tryna put it out there that this years results did give me hope and a slight boost of confidence.
Coming to this point where i am going to have decide on my next adventure/chapter in life. Scary how life just flies by and you make the story up as you go. No matter how much you think you have life figured out 99% of the time, shit happens, feelings unfold, opportunities surface, the list goes on. So when people ask me what my plans for the future are, i never hold back on when explaining how clueless i am about it. Because thats my plan, to make it all up as i go along. God knows if thats a good plan but heck, everything will happen for a reason. Something i've lived by for as long as i can remember. As of now, my plans are to apply to a few firms in singapore for a training contract and a RLT and see where the wind takes me? If it isnt already obvious, yes i will be doing the bar. Yes, i will try my best to get called to the bar. Not for my parents sake, not for bragging rights, just for me because i feel this will teach me one thing in life and thats to always always always finish what i start.
Firms im thinking of applying to;
1) Drew and Napier - not because i think i actually stand a chance of getting it (LOL, not me having no confidence but they really only hire first class students so) but because i interned there and i actually did really like the firm - the people the department. One of my best internships to date.
2) Rodyk - Never interned there. Dont even know what department im looking at but strings. So, we'll give it a shot.
3) KW?? - No doubt i interned there and didnt really enjoy the firm culture, but at this point, the last thing i want is to shut out options? It's not like im in the ultimate to actually reject firms and say no to them. Sounds pretty sad but ugly truth.
Needa find more small firms to apply to. Should probably try getting that done by the time i fly just so i can discuss with daddy without timezones getting in the way.
Thats about it on the "future/school" front. I've already written so much. I still have so much more to update on! Friendships, family, my spiritual path. Should i leave it for another post or should i continue? Brb, tanglin's starting soon! (yes in case future nut is reading - you were indeed obsessed with tanglin)
Back! Lets move on to friendships formed/lost this year. Little more exciting than the above.
Well for one thing's for sure, there are some people i have drifted from tho i never expected to, and some who i am close to now whom never really were in the picture before. We'll start with B, ive spent dare i say, i shitload of time together this summer. I dont really know what im expecting out of this friendship, but all i know now is that i really do enjoy his company tho i'm still very cautious after what he pulled on me earlier this year. It's tough learning to wholly trust someone especially when you know what they are capable of. Still thankful for the good times tho, not sure how long they'll last but. Here's to the nights i'll always remember.
Then we move on to NC, didnt expect myself to be so close to her especially towards the end of the academic year. No doubt we were in the same block and i thought i could click with her, but yet again, my intuition proves me wrong. Not that she is a bad person, she just doesnt seem genuine, our interests are way too different and i just dont like how she doesnt let me in. Sorry, but i dont do superficial friendships. Its all or nothing with me, dont know if its a good thing but yeap.
Sadly there have been a few who i have drifted from. Nic's one to name. This time last year i was so close to him but now, its nothing but a few "how are you" "how are things" and blueticks here and there. Pretty sad if you ask me, but i just feel like he isnt the same nic i knew back in year 1. Maybe i changed, maybe he changed - idk, its just not the same. I hate how someone can go from knowing everything about your daily musings one year to absolutely nothing about your life the following year. Scares the shit out of me when i think about how temporary everything is. Sometimes i think to myself.. what even is the point of putting so much effort and time into frienships when at the end of the day they can just walk out on you like you meant nothing to them. Not that nic did this, he didnt walk out on me it was a mutual drift. But, yknow, people really can just leave as they please.
Things with sha and nad, they're good. Things are definitely different with everyone on different paths and what not. But, somehow still comfortable. It always is and always has been. We're all growing in ways i never imagined, i dont know if im the only one who has noticed but, really - slowly but surely adulthod is creeping up on us. Still, ever grateful.
I think i should end this post here. Its been a reaaaaal long catch up but these are the two main things on my mind lately. Other things for sure, but for now this will suffice.